Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Where is the hickey?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
