I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
