you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
