his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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