Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
