i don't like sucking hair
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
