420 ftw
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i came on her dog
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Randomize
