there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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