I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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