You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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