no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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