38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
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