i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
