I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Randomize
