We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Randomize
