I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
