Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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