At least make sure they are 18
Why
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
