She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
