New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
