I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Randomize
