I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
