hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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