i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
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