I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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