You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
