Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Randomize
