two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
