you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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