brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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