i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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