bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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