there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
