what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
