Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
