Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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