Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
