the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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