I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
