This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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