My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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