Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
