Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize