Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
