saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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