I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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