well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
