No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
