What did we do last night that was yellow?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
