I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
