let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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