I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
