No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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