Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
