Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Randomize
