I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
