Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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