God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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