I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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