Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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