I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
