Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
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