This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Randomize