Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
