Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
