UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Randomize
