i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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