Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
be right there i have to get my cape
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
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