I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
