Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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