Midget sex pt 2 tonight
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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