I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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