so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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