Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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