he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
