I'm really into asian looking animals
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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