she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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