I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
