I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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