even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
