she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
