Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
